今日は訪問看護の日だったけど、かなり短かく終わってしまって残念だった。年末だったからかもしれない。こちらは沢山話そうと思っていたのに、ゆっくり話せずに悲しい思いをした。内容はいつもと同じだけど自分としては色々あったので、岩の原ワイナリーがどうだったかとか、新潟に旅行に行ったとか、グループホームを見学したとか伝えたかった。だけど今日は看護師さんの一人はメモも取らずに簡単に話を聞いて終えてしまった。
これで1,000円？高すぎる、と感じた。私の行き場のうしなったことばたちは、どこへ行くのか？どこにもいかない、自分のなかでモヤモヤするだけだ。
朝からインフルエンザらしい母親の機嫌が良くなく、こちらもすごくイライラした。母はもう痴呆なのではないか？そう感じた。私は母親に恨みを抱いている。
このまま家にいるのもどうかと考え、門前の湯という温泉に行ってきた。病前は毎日行っていた温泉だ。温泉につかり、髪と身体を洗って、のぼせずにまた出てきた。問題なく入れて本当によかった。
帰りにスーパーのナルスに行き、刺身を買って帰ってきた。
天降は荒れていたけど、出かけられたのは、本当によかった。
Today was the day of the visiting nurse, but unfortunately it ended rather quickly. Maybe it was because it was the end of the year. I wanted to talk a lot, but I was sad that I couldn’t talk slowly. The content was the same as usual, but I had a lot going on, so I wanted to tell her about how Iwanohara Winery was, how I went on a trip to Niigata, and how I visited a group home. But today, one of the nurses listened to me briefly without taking notes and finished. 1,000 yen for this? I felt that it was too expensive. Where do my words that have lost their meaning go? They don’t go anywhere, they just feel uneasy inside.
My mother has been in a bad mood since morning, and she seems to have the flu, which made me very irritated. I felt that my mother might have dementia. I have a grudge against my mother.
I thought it would be a problem to stay at home, so I went to a hot spring called Monzen no Yu. It’s a hot spring that I used to go to every day before I got sick. I took a bath in the hot spring, washed my hair and body, and came out again without getting too hot. I’m really glad that I was able to enter without any problems.
On the way home, I went to the supermarket Narusu and bought some sashimi. It was a rough day, but I was really glad I was able to go out.
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